Dear Donnie,
You have not turned in your home werk for the last two weeks.
I know that you have been mercilessly bullied by the left since your mispronunciation of “Yosemite.” They don’t know how hard you have been werking on your ‘silent e — long vowel’ grammar rule.
I think your speech writer deliberately tried to trip you up with a foreign word. You should fire him. Besides, maybe you’re right and every one else is wrong. The Miwoks probably do say “Yose-might”.
Your remedial reading teacher,
Miss Shene